If you’ve ever found yourself hiding in the pantry eating chocolate while your toddler has a meltdown over the wrong-coloured cup, you’re in very good company.
Let’s be honest: some days, parenting feels like an extreme sport that nobody prepared you for. According to The Royal Children's Hospital National Child Health Poll, 27% of Australian parents feel stressed every single day by their child’s behaviour, and nearly half admit they lose their patience faster than they’d like.
The reassuring news? You’re not failing: you’re human. And there are plenty of positive behaviour management strategies that can make daily life feel a whole lot smoother.
Whether you're navigating toddler tantrums or supporting growing school-aged kids, these behaviour management strategies in early childhood will help you reconnect, reset, and bring a little more calm into everyday chaos.
Why positive behaviour management strategies really work
Here’s a comforting truth: punitive discipline rarely teaches children what to do: it only highlights what not to do. And if you’ve ever watched a three-year-old knowingly do the exact thing you told them not to, you already know how ineffective that approach can be.
The most effective strategies to guide children's behaviour are clear, consistent and rooted in encouragement.
With that in mind, here are 13 practical, expert-approved behaviour management strategies you can start using today.
1. Keep rules beautifully simple
Young children can't remember a lengthy list of dos and don'ts (and frankly, neither can we before coffee). Stick to a handful of clear, positive rules like:
- We help each other
- We're kind to one another
- We use gentle hands
Write them down together, display them somewhere visible, and revisit them often. When children help create the rules, they're far more likely to follow them.
2. Reframe your language: "do" instead of "don't"
This small shift is genuinely transformative for guiding children's behaviour.
Swap "Stop running!" for "Let's use our walking feet." Trade "Don't touch that!" for "Keep your hands nice and close."
It sounds gentler, feels less confrontational, and actually tells your child what you'd like them to do. Everyone wins.
3. Meet them at eye level
There's something almost magical about crouching down to a child's height. It signals respect, captures their attention, and transforms a lecture into a conversation.
This is one of the most effective strategies to guide children's behaviour because it creates genuine connection. Look them in the eyes, speak softly, and give them space to respond.
4. Be the person you want them to become
Children are extraordinary observers. They notice how you speak to others, how you handle frustration, and how you recover when things go wrong.
When you model patience, kindness, and graceful apologies, you're giving them a blueprint for life. It's not about being perfect; it's about showing them how to navigate imperfection with grace.
5. Encourage children to lift each other up
There's something lovely about watching children celebrate one another. Encourage siblings and playmates to share, cooperate, and acknowledge each other's efforts.
"Did you see how gently Maya shared her toys with you? That was so kind of her."
It builds beautiful little communities and teaches children that kindness is contagious.
6. Offer choices (strategically)
Power struggles often come down to children wanting some sense of control, which is completely developmentally appropriate.
Offering two acceptable options works wonders: "Would you like to wear the striped shirt or the blue one?" Both work for you; they feel empowered. Harmony restored.
Just be mindful not to offer a choice when there isn't one. "Would you like to go to bed now?" is a question you probably don't want answered honestly.
7. Protect their dignity
If your child makes a mistake, resist the urge to correct them in front of others. A quiet word in private preserves their self-esteem and keeps the focus on learning rather than shame.
Pull them aside gently, remind them of the expectation, and help them understand how to do better next time. It's respectful, and respect is something that children remember.
8. Catch them being wonderful
This one's a cornerstone of guiding children's behaviour effectively, and it feels lovely for everyone involved.
Instead of only responding when things go wrong, actively notice when things go right. "I love how you used your kind words just then" or "Thank you for waiting so patiently" reinforces exactly the behaviour you want to see more of.
Children crave attention. Positive attention for positive behaviour means they'll keep coming back for more.
This approach is backed by RCH Poll Director Dr. Anthea Rhodes: "Children's brains are wired for attention. The best type of attention to give a child is a positive response to desired behaviour as it encourages them to behave that way," she said.
9. Be their coach, not just their cheerleader
There's nothing wrong with saying, "Good job!" but specific praise is so much more powerful.
Try: "You worked so hard on that puzzle, and you didn't give up even when it was tricky. I'm really proud of you."
It tells children exactly what they did well and why it matters. That's the kind of encouragement that builds genuine confidence.
10. Let play be the teacher
Some of the best learning happens through imagination. Join in their pretend play and gently model good manners, sharing, and problem-solving through the storyline.
Read picture books that explore emotions and conflict resolution. Play "What would you do if..." games together.
These strategies to guide children's behaviour feel like fun because they are.
11. Teach them to navigate big feelings
Helping children name their emotions is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. When they can say "I'm feeling frustrated" instead of throwing a toy, they've taken a huge developmental leap.
Walk them through it: What happened? How do you feel? What could we try? These skills will serve them for the rest of their lives.
12. Help them learn the art of apologising
Genuine apologies don't come naturally to young children. They need to be taught, gently and repeatedly.
Keep it simple and sincere:
- Look at the person
- Say their name
- Say "I'm sorry"
- Explain why
With time and patience, those prompted apologies will evolve into heartfelt ones. And that's a beautiful thing to witness.
13. Let natural consequences do some of the work
If your child tips their cereal onto the floor, hand them a cloth and help them clean it up together. If they draw on the wall, they can help wipe it off.
It's not about punishment: it's about understanding that our actions have outcomes. Experiencing this in small, manageable ways helps children develop self-regulation and accountability over time.
How quality child care helps children thrive, at home and beyond
Parenting is rewarding, exhausting, beautiful and messy (and often all within a single hour!) But with thoughtful positive behaviour management strategies and gentle strategies to guide children’s behaviour, you can nurture connection, reduce chaos, and build stronger relationships at home.
And here’s the part many parents forget: you don’t have to do this alone. Early childhood education and daycare centres in Australia play an incredibly important role in supporting children’s growth and development.
Through structured routines, social interaction, emotional coaching, and play-based learning, educators reinforce many of the same behaviour management foundations you’re building at home. Children learn how to share, communicate, solve problems, regulate emotions, and develop confidence, all within a safe, nurturing environment.
Your parenting journey gets easier with the right child care support
If you're considering child care, the right centre can make an enormous difference in your child’s daily behaviour, wellbeing and long-term development. And Care for Kids makes finding the right childcare easier, with tools to compare centres, read parent reviews, check NQS ratings, explore vacancies and book tours, all in one place.
Find the right child care with Care for Kids.
